Computer Virus Jokes

Computer Health Warning

When downloading software from the web you risk infecting your computer with a virus.

The most dangerous being :-

Psychiatrist Virus :: There’s no change to your computer but a very large bill appears from the printer.

Vet Virus :: Your mouse develops a nasty squeak and runs away when you try to use it.

Pantomime Actor Virus :: Your computer works. Oh no it doesn’t. Oh yes it does. Oh no it doesn’t . . . . .

Office Junior Virus :: All your computer files rearrange themselves randomly.

Teacher Virus :: Big red crosses appear all over your screen with a message saying “Stay behind after class.”

Civil Servant Virus :: Everything you type appears in triplicate.

Athlete Virus :: Your C.D. Disc suddenly ejects and flies 100 metres across the room.

Salesman Virus :: A warning message appears telling you that your computer urgently needs a new printer, memory and modem.

Doctor Virus :: A message appears saying that your computer has been checked and is in perfect condition. Ten minutes later it drops down dead.

Lap Top Dancer Virus :: Your lap top starts to dance.

Magician Virus :: Everything you have typed disappears and a rabbit pops up out of the C.D. drive.

Student Virus :: Your computer will laze about doing nothing for days on end.

The Little Book of the Internet :

Now, instead of surfing the Web, you can simply drown in it. This hilarious guide to totally screwing up on the Internet will be deeply enriching for all the computer idiots in your life. So save their sanity. Give them copies!

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