Internet Language Jokes

Cyber~Geek Glossary

Baud Rate : the rate your heart beat reaches as you impatiently wait for a web page to load.

Netgroup : a bunch of old bores endlessly discussing the weather.

Browser : a program which searches for the information you want but instead gives you a selection of pornography, advertisements and trivia.

Cookies : Files secretly planted on your P.C. as part of a computer master plan to take over the world.

Email : see junk mail.

Favorites : A massive list of long forgotten sites which once seemed crucially important.

Download : A technical term meaning theft and plagiarism.

Homepage : A glitzy, snazzy, brilliantly animated entrance to a completely dull, boring and pointless web site.

Local Area Network : The World Wide Web on a bad day.

Link : a connection which takes you from a useless site to a totally useless site.

Modem : a device which ties up your phone line for twenty four hours every day.

Snailmail : The use of trained molluscs to deliver letters.

Search Engine: A program which finds every web site except the one you lovingly created.

Servers : Powerful computers which conspire to keep you off the internet.

Web : A global collection of obsolete, inaccurate, worthless information.

Surf : The act of moving around the Web using links until you’ve completely forgotten what you were looking for in the first place.

The Little Book of the Internet :

Now, instead of surfing the Web, you can simply drown in it. This hilarious guide to totally screwing up on the Internet will be deeply enriching for all the computer idiots in your life. So save their sanity. Give them copies!

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