Women like to talk – men prefer action. Men know that discussing with a woman what needs to be done takes twice as long as doing the task.

Men feel proud of the things they achieve. If they do even a simple job like hanging a picture on a wall they feel a sense of satisfaction every time they walk past it. However, if they have to ask for help with a task they experience feelings of inadequacy every time they walk past it.

Women do not like science fiction. They find it dull and predictable. They much prefer wildly fanciful and unbelievable scenarios such as those in romantic novels where a woman finds a man who is warm, gentle and loving.

Women tend to talk about their problems in a rambling manner in which big and small issues are given no order or priority. In one breath while telling you that the supermarket has run out of her best loved cheese she’ll casually mention that she has smashed the car, robbed a bank and is running away with your best friend.

Real men do not eat lettuce!

No man has ever bought himself potpourri or scented candles.

No woman has ever felt the urge to buy herself a 250 watt stereo amplifier.

Women have an amazing sixth sense – often they can say, ‘no’ before their husband has even asked the question.

If women ruled the world it would be a criminal offence to go out without a woolly jumper.

Real women do not do car maintenance.

Don’t waste a good joke on a woman – she just won’t get it. Asking her, ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ triggers some kind of thinking frenzy and she will most likely reply, “ Maybe there were friends on the other side or perhaps it wanted to avoid a hole or possibly it had to cross the road to get to it’s house . . . . I hope it wasn’t a busy road – poor thing trying to cross with all those cars, I do hope it got across safely . . . . . “

A woman expects her six year old to behave like an adult and her husband to act like a six year old.

Men can be terribly sensitive. A woman need only say, “I’ve met someone much sexier than you.” “ I’ve never really loved you” or  “ I’m leaving you,” and her man will sulk for hours.

A man will never admit to a mistake. He knows that he is perfect and he desperately needs everyone else to know that too.