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Today's Gambling Jokes

GAMBLING - Playing the Slot Machines

Two gambling friends, Tom and Gerry, went together to play the slot machines at an LA casino. Each agreed that when his allotted money was gone, he would go set on the bench and wait for the other to finish.

Gerry quickly lost all of his money and went to sit on the bench. He waited and waited and waited some more. After what seemed an eternity, he saw Harry coming toward him carrying a huge bag of coins.

"Hey, Gerry," said Tom, "how'd you do?" "Well, Tom," said Gerry, "you see me here on this bench - what do you think? It looks like you hit it big, though."

"Oh yeah," said Tom, "I found a great slot machine! It's way in the back. I'll show it to you - you can't lose! Every time you put in a buck four quarters come out!"

The Las Vegas Gambling Trip Joke

A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on that trip won £100,000. He didn't want anyone to know about it, so he decided not to return with the others, but took a later plane home - arriving back 3 a.m. He immediately went out to the backyard of his house, dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found the hole empty. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door, which was owned by a deaf-mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol, the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man's house. "You tell this guy that if he doesn't give me back my £100,000 I'm going to kill him!" he screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend, and his friend replied in sign language, "I hid it in my backyard, underneath the cherry tree."

The professor turned to the man with the gun and said, "He's not going to tell you. He said he'd rather die first."

Mess with Cameron Diaz

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